white scum?

O, I Wish I Was In the Land Of Cotton...

Dixiland

I wish I was in land ob cotton,
Old times dar am not forgotten,
Look away! Look away! Look away! Dixie Land.
In Dixie Land whar' I was born in,
Early on one frosty mornin',
Look away! Look away! Look away! Dixie Land.
CHORUS:
Den I wish I was in Dixie, Hoo-ray! Hoo-ray!
In Dixie land, I'll take my stand to lib and die in Dixie;
Away, away, away down south in Dixie,
Away, away, away down south in Dixie.
Old Missus marry Will-de-weaber,
Willium was a gay deceaber; Look away! Look away! Look away! Dixie Land.
But when he put his arms around 'er
He smiled as fierce as a forty-pounder,
Look away! Look away! Look away! Dixie Land.
His face was sharp as a butcher's cleaber,
But dat did not seem to greab 'er;
Look away! Look away! Look away! Dixie Land.
Old Missus acted the foolish part,
And died for a man dat broke her heart,
Look away! Look away! Look away! Dixie Land.
Now here's a health to the next old Missus,
And all the gals dat want to kiss us;
Look away! Look away! Look away! Dixie Land.
But if you want to drive 'way sorrow,
Come and hear dis song to-morrow,
Look away! Look away! Look away! Dixie Land.
Dar's buckwheat cakes an' Injun batter,
Makes you fat or a little fatter;
Look away! Look away! Look away! Dixie Land.
Den hoe it down and scratch your grabble,
To Dixie's land I'm bound to trabble,
Look away! Look away! Look away! Dixie Land.

(possibly based on a slave tune)

Dixie Song

O, I wish I was in the land of cotton
Old times there are not forgotten
Look away! Look away! Look away! Dixie Land.
In Dixie Land where I was born in
Early on one frosty mornin'
Look away! Look away! Look away! Dixie Land.
Chorus:
O, I wish I was in Dixie! Hooray! Hooray!
In Dixie Land I'll take my stand
To live and die in Dixie
|: Away, away, away down south in Dixie! :| 2. Old Missus marry Will, the weaver,
William was a gay deceiver
Look away! Look away! Look away! Dixie Land.
But when he put his arm around her
He smiled as fierce as a forty pounder
Look away! Look away! Look away! Dixie Land.
Chorus:
3. His face was sharp as a butcher's cleaver
But that did not seem to grieve her
Look away! Look away! Look away! Dixie Land.
Old Missus acted the foolish part
And died for a man that broke her heart
Look away! Look away! Look away! Dixie Land.
Chorus:
--> Daniel D. Emmett, 1859

The Redneck Calendar

January 1- New Year's Day
Bring in the New Year with black-eyed peas and ham hocks. Eating black-eyed peas brings money and good luck. The ham hocks just make 'em taste better!

January 28 - Super Bowl
Southerners love their football! College football is preferred, but it is possible to get worked up for the Super Bowl with enough beer and a Southern team in contention.

February 2 - Groundhog Day
Target Practice Day - We don't mess around with ground hogs or other varmints.

February 12 - Lincoln's Birthday
Southerners don't celebrate this one. He was born in Kentucky, but later turned Yankee.

February 14 - Valentine Day
Don't forget to go by the drugstore and get your honey a heart-shaped box of candy with a plastic flower on top to let her know how much you think of her.

February 22 - Washington's Birthday
Another Dead President's Day. He was officially Southern, but not a good ol' boy. Those ruffles and wigs ain't country...

March 17 - St. Patrick's Day
Many Southerners are Scotch Irish. Those who are not claim to be and have another good excuse to drink beer.

April 15 - Easter
Easter Bunny Day - Everyone should get "slicked up" and go church at least once a year whether they need to or not.

May 13 - Mother's Day
Be sure to call your mama or get her a card to thank her for birthin' you.

May 28 - Memorial Day
First holiday weekend of summer - Good time to take the boat and go to the lake.

June 17 - Father's Day
Get Pop some Red Man chewin' tobacco.

July 4 - Independence Day
Beer and firecrackers - Careful with the latter if you've had too much of the former.

September 3 - Labor Day
Last weekend of summer - Another good time to take the boat and go to the lake.

October 8- Columbus Day
Last holiday to go fishing before cold weather.

October 31 - Halloween
Tradition is to play pranks and turn over the outhouse. Unfortunately, there are not many outhouses left these days, and this time-honored tradition is mostly a nostalgic memory.

November 11 - Veteran's Day
Drink beer and watch a patriotic movie on television to show appreciation for veterans.

November 22 - Thanksgiving
Good day to take out the dogs and pickup truck and go rabbit hunting.

December 25 - Christmas
Get in the spirit by decorating the house with flashing lights inside and out. Make fruit cake and soak it in whiskey. Put up a pine tree and decorate it. Wrap up the presents from Wal-Mart. Light fire in fireplace. (Important: Remember to open damper first this year.) Celebrate early and try to get rid of the visiting relatives before they get drunk on fruitcake.

December 31 - New Year's Eve
Drink and shoot fireworks. If you don't have any fireworks, just shoot the shotgun in the air at midnight.

A Redneck Letter Dear Billy Joe Bob,

I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your Pa read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 minutes of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is really nice. I even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well, though, Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain, we haven't seen it since.

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.

About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Bubba said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.

Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just like your brother.

Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated; he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back, they drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

Your Favorite Aunt (gefunden bei funpages.com)

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